Daily Mail, December 29th


It is Christmas so i feel a really corny christmas cracker joke is in order.

Q-What do u call a woman who put faith before life?


A-A dictionary writer.

That was awful.

I swear the Mail dream up the sensationalist headlines so when we're feeling rather ill and these miracle cures don't happen we all blame the NHS and Labour for it. Not everything can be cured and when flu is 'cured' something just as nasty will evolve to replace it.

I bet that board game is about as 'hilarious' as drinking bleech.


Daily Excess, December 29th

The news is simply googled now, selected by some cat walking on a keyboard. The weather is cheap and easy to report and no one is going to come after the Express for miss reporting it as might happen if they did some real journalism. Nothing better to do than talk about the weather. James Brown dies, Sadam to be hanged maybe a bit better. The express alwyas report the weather and always to great excess. I'll look forward to hearing how many people died in this killer storm. Storms have got a bad rep, i would like to see headlines like '80mph friendly storms to lash Britain'.

Most trusted aide, wouldn't be Paul 'sell your soul you silly twat' Burrell would it?

I would love to bag myself an Eva but its not going to happen, not yet anyway.